...

Maybe it's time for me to actually write something.

This has been an insane year. In a lot of different ways a really harsh one, but not one without hope… It’s true, no matter how much you think you understand someone else’s situation or have grown for something that you have heard about, it doesn’t change the fiber of your being until it happens to you.

As the my weight training PE teacher would say : "without pain, it’s not growth it’s only maintenance, and we don't want maintenance, we want growth. "

Are we happy with just the maintenance of our lives or do we seek growth? In a way then are we seeking hardships and pain? At what point do you stop and remain content with your life. Is it complacency or is it gratitude?

I like to make grand statements sometimes. "I wish I were invincible." "I wish I were 100% efficient." "I wish I didn't have to sleep to function..."
In a sense I am asking God to make me someone who doesn’t need Him. As much as I hate to admit how weak I am, it is in those moments of weakness that I see my need for Him.